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Viewing
Your Child as an Adult
So, your son or daughter has
married, and overnight you have become a mother-in-law
or a father-in-law. What do we do now? Let's start with
the basics: We must now view them as adults. We must
never again impose our will upon them. We must respect
them as equals. Oh, for some of us that's hard. We have
been parents so long. We know what is best for them. We
want so much to tell them what they should do.
Resist the urge. If you maintain
the parent-child mode of operation, you will become a
"thorn in their flesh", and you may find your
son or daughter pulling away from you and/or your
son-in- law or daughter-in-law becoming hostile.
Rule # 1 for in-laws is to treat
the young couple as adults. You have raised them to be
independent, now let them experience their independence.
Will they make some mistakes? Probably, but they will
learn maturity in the process. Their maturity is far
more important than your keeping them from mistakes.
Celebrate their independence.
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