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When and When Not to Give
Advice
A mother-in-law recently said to me, "Both of
our daughters got married this summer, does this mean that we can no
longer give them advice?" My answer was, "Not necessarily. It
depends on how and when you give your advice."
Parents should feel freedom to give advice to their
married children, but it is always best to wait until our advice is
requested. Even so, parents should not seek to force their advice on their
married children. The most common in-law complaint is "Why do our
parents have to keep trying to control our lives? Why don't the recognize
us as adults?"
Give suggestions if they are requested, or if you
feel you must, but then withdraw and allow the couple freedom to make
their own decision. Most importantly, do not express resentment if they do
not follow your suggestion. Don't say, "I told you so." if their
decision turns out to be a poor decision. Give them the advantage of your
wisdom, but the freedom to make their own mistakes.
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